Let’s normalize not commenting on pregnant or postpartum bodies
“You’re so small!”
“You bounced back so fast!”
“You look amazing for just having a baby!”
These comments are often meant as compliments. But the truth is – they can land in ways you don’t expect.
As a therapist and a mom, I want to talk about why we need to normalize not commenting on pregnant or postpartum bodies.
You Never Know What Someone Is Going Through
Pregnancy and postpartum experiences are deeply personal – and often complicated.
Behind the scenes, someone might be navigating:
- High-risk pregnancies
- Medical complications
- Chronic pain
- Anxiety about their baby’s health
- Postpartum recovery challenges
- Undiagnosed health concerns
But none of that is visible from the outside.
A comment about someone’s size or appearance – no matter how well-intentioned – can feel dismissive of what they’re actually going through.
“You Look Great” Isn’t Always Helpful
We’ve been conditioned to see body-based comments as positive.
But when we focus on appearance, we unintentionally reinforce the idea that:
- Smaller = better
- “Bouncing back” = success
- A mom’s body should be evaluated at all
For many women, especially in the postpartum period, this adds pressure during an already vulnerable time.
The Mental Load of Body Comments
Even neutral or “positive” comments can:
- Increase self-consciousness
- Trigger comparison
- Reinforce unrealistic expectations
- Make someone feel misunderstood or unseen
And for moms already navigating identity shifts, sleep deprivation, and emotional changes, that impact can be significant.
What to Say Instead
If you want to support a pregnant or postpartum mom, shift the focus away from appearance.
Try:
- “How are you really doing?”
- “How has this season been for you?”
- “Is there anything you need support with?”
These kinds of questions create space for honesty, connection, and real support.
A More Compassionate Approach
Every body has a story. And during pregnancy and postpartum, that story often includes things no one else can see.
So let’s normalize:
- Not commenting on bodies
- Letting go of assumptions
- Prioritizing emotional well-being over appearance
Because feeling seen and supported will always matter more than being told you look good.
Looking for support during pregnancy or postpartum?
I offer therapy for moms navigating anxiety, identity shifts, and the mental load of motherhood.