Why Anxiety Always Assumes the Worst (And What to Do Instead)
Anxiety Doesn’t Predict the Future – It Narrows the Possibilities Have you ever noticed how anxiety talks about the future with complete certainty? It doesn’t usually say, “This might happen.” Instead, it says: It presents these thoughts as facts, even though they’re really predictions. One of the biggest tricks anxiety plays is convincing you that there is […]
No One Told Me Pregnancy Changes Your Brain: The Science Behind “Mom Brain”
When I was pregnant, I expected my body to change. I expected the growing belly, the aches and pains, the exhaustion, and the sleepless nights after my baby arrived. What I didn’t expect was to feel like I couldn’t trust my own brain. I found myself walking into rooms and forgetting why I was there. […]
Why Do I Feel Guilty Resting? Understanding the Need to Earn Rest
The other day, my husband and I were having a conversation that unexpectedly connected two very different experiences. He told me that when he’s on a stretch of days off, he struggles to relax. Not because there are urgent things that need to be done. Not because someone is demanding his time. He struggles because […]
The Calls That Impact First Responders the Most Aren’t Always the Goriest
When people think about trauma in first responders, they often imagine the worst-case scenarios: the gruesome accidents, the violent scenes, the major catastrophes. And while those calls absolutely can have a lasting impact, what often surprises people is that the calls that stay with first responders the longest are not always the goriest ones. Sometimes […]
Catastrophizing: When Your Mind Jumps to the Worst-Case Scenario
Have you ever received a short text and immediately assumed someone was upset with you? Or made one mistake at work and suddenly thought, “I’m going to lose my job”? Maybe your child gets sick and your brain instantly jumps to the worst possible outcome. This is called catastrophizing: a common cognitive distortion where the […]
Big T vs. Little t Trauma: Why Your Experiences Still Matter
One of the most common things I hear in therapy is: “Nothing that bad happened to me… so why do I feel like this?” Many people assume trauma only refers to extreme or life-threatening experiences. But trauma is often much more nuanced than that. Not all trauma looks obvious. And not all trauma comes from […]
Why the Therapeutic Relationship Matters More Than You Think
When most people think about therapy, they picture coping skills, advice, worksheets, or deep conversations about childhood. And while those things can absolutely be helpful, research consistently shows that one factor matters more than almost anything else in therapy: The relationship between the therapist and the client. Not the perfect technique. Not a worksheet. Not […]
“I’m Fine” Isn’t a Coping Strategy: What I’ve Learned Working With First Responders
First responders are often the people everyone else leans on during the worst moments of their lives. They walk into emergencies while everyone else is trying to get out. They stay calm under pressure, make impossible decisions quickly, and carry experiences most people will never fully understand. And yet, many first responders have spent years […]
People Pleasing: Where It Comes From and How to Start Challenging It
“I just don’t want to upset anyone.” If you’ve ever said this (or thought it), you’re not alone. People pleasing is often misunderstood as simply being “nice” or “accommodating.” But underneath it is something much deeper – something rooted in safety, connection, and learned patterns. Let’s unpack where people pleasing comes from, and more importantly, […]
“No” Is a Full Sentence
If you’ve ever said no and then immediately followed it with a long explanation, you’re not alone. “I can’t, I’m just really busy right now…”“I would, but I have so much going on…”“Maybe another time?” On the surface, it can look polite. Considerate, even. But underneath that over-explaining is often something else: a discomfort with […]