Do You Feel Like You Don’t Have A Voice In Your Relationship?
Does it seem like your partner just doesn’t hear you or understand you?
Has infidelity broken the trust between you and left you wondering if your relationship can recover?
Do you find yourselves so busy with other endeavors that you don’t make time for each other anymore?
Maybe your relationship seemed to be going strong for a while and you’re not sure where it went wrong. Over time, disagreements have bubbled up to the surface and allowed anger and resentment to fester. Perhaps you’ve discovered incompatibilities between you and your partner—you have different views on family, parenting, and roles within marriage. You may be questioning whether you were meant to be together and wondering if it’s time to see a couples counsellor.
Your Relationship May Be Suffering From A Lack Of Intimacy
Maybe your relationship isn’t full of fighting or infidelity, but over time, life has simply gotten in the way of your connection. You and your partner may be struggling to navigate your busy schedules and juggle work, parenting, and family obligations. After a while, you might find that your romance has hit the backburner. Although you still love each other, it feels more like living with a roommate than with a partner.
Thankfully, there is reason to be hopeful about your relationship’s future. At West Wellness Counselling & Psychotherapy, our therapists are trained and equipped to help couples learn new communication skills, deepen their intimacy, and fall back in love.
Relationships Are Hard Work In A World Of Constant Distractions
Maintaining a long-term relationship takes serious commitment and determination. The numbers do not lie—roughly 42 percent of marriages in Ontario end in divorce (1) and about one in ten Canadians who are married or common-law have had an affair (2). These stats are not surprising, especially considering all the external distractions that couples have to deal with nowadays.
So many people in today’s world are suffering from burnout—they invest so much in their careers, their children, and their extracurriculars that their marriage often ends up being an afterthought. This is especially the case for couples with children. Those who are the primary caregiver often deal with mental load burnout and have little energy left for themselves or their marriage.
In The Age Of Social Media And Online Dating, Infidelity Is Easier Than Ever
When your relationship is going through a rough patch, it’s tempting to seek solace outside of the relationship. And in the digital age, meeting new people can be as simple as clicking a button. The accessibility to other people through social media and online dating sites has created a slippery slope to infidelity.
What’s more, the ability to get constant attention from so many people can make meaningful relationships feel disposable. As soon as relationships hit one road bump, many people think of jumping ship because it’s so easy to find a new partner.
Maintaining a healthy and committed relationship is about navigating those road bumps together. Every relationship will experience hardship—the key is being prepared for it and knowing how to work as a team when problems come up.
Therapy Can Help Couples Create Healthier Relationship Dynamics And Strengthen Their Emotional Bonds
Right now, you and your partner may feel like you’re spinning your wheels and arguing in circles whenever conflict arises. The beauty of therapy is that it can help you step back and take a closer look at what’s happening beneath the surface, allowing you to see your struggles from a fresh perspective.
At West Wellness Counselling & Psychotherapy, our sessions provide a safe space to better understand the dynamics in your marriage and use that knowledge to relate to each other in a healthier way.
You and your partner can expect your therapist to be a neutral third party who will encourage healthy communication and discussion of challenging emotions. Instead of taking sides, they will look for ways that both of you can improve and focus on building both of you up to be the best partners you can be.
What To Expect In Couples Counselling Sessions
Each of our therapists takes a different approach to couples counselling—the goal is always to come up with a plan that’s customized for you and your spouse. Generally, all sessions will be held with both of you together, but it’s possible to do separate sessions occasionally if there are individual issues that need work.
Although individual sessions are a great opportunity to learn more about where you’re coming from, there is no secret-keeping here. Anything said during the individual sessions should be considered fair game in sessions with both of you. For your relationship to heal, you and your partner have to be willing to be honest with each other. We want you to work together as a team, making each difficulty and disagreement an opportunity for growth in your relationship.
Creating Your Couples Therapy Plan
Our therapists draw from a wide variety of modalities to help couples overcome their stuck points. We often utilise Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) to encourage healthier communication and promote using “I” statements instead of “you” statements. Rather than telling your partner “You make me feel like I’m not important,” EFT teaches you to use statements like “When we don’t spend time together, I feel unimportant.” In this way, EFT puts the focus on your feelings instead of the other person’s faults.
The Gottman Method is also central to our approach to couples therapy. The goal of the Gottman Method is to break down defensive behaviours, increase intimacy and closeness, and focus on creating a life of shared meaning and purpose.
By drawing from evidence-based approaches and exploring your relationship on a deeper level, we’re confident that we can help you strengthen your bond as a couple. With the right support, you can overcome unhealthy patterns in your relationship and create a healthier dynamic going forward.
You May Have Some Questions About Couples Therapy…
What if our therapist sides with my partner?
Our therapists will ensure that both sides are equally heard, respected, and validated. We aim to support each partner individually as well as the marriage or relationship itself. Counselling isn’t about figuring out who’s right and wrong, but figuring out what both of you can do to deepen your connection and relate to each other in a healthier way.
What if my partner doesn’t want to come to counselling?
The choice to engage in therapy is up to each individual partner. We will not force anyone to attend sessions if they don’t want to. Ultimately, couples therapy is most effective when both parties are willing to participate. But if your partner is resistant to coming, we recommend trying individual counselling for your relationship issues. If your partner notices that counselling has helped you, they may be more willing to try it themselves.
Can our therapist tell us if it’s worth it to stay together?
Whether you remain in your relationship is up to you and your partner. We’re not here to make life choices for you, but we can support you in achieving your goals and exploring what’s best for your relationship. If you both decide to go your separate ways, we will uphold your decision and help you separate peacefully and amicably.
Rekindle Your Love For Each Other With The Power Of Therapy
If you want to breathe new life into your relationship or marriage, we encourage you to pursue therapy with us. To get started, you can use the contact form to book a consultation.