This morning, I had a migraine.
The kind where you’re lying in bed with a cold cloth on your head, trying everything—Advil, Tylenol, water—and nothing even takes the edge off. The kind where you know you’re not functioning… but part of you still feels like you should be.
Because migraines aren’t just painful. They’re unpredictable. And they’re invisible.
The Part About Migraines No One Prepares You For
One of the hardest parts about having migraines is this: you never know how long they’re going to last.
Sometimes it’s a few hours.
Sometimes it’s a full day.
Sometimes it stretches into multiple days where you feel like you’re living in a fog.
So you’re not just dealing with pain… you’re dealing with uncertainty. You’re lying there wondering:
How long is this going to take from me today?
When Your Body Forces You to Stop
This morning, I could hear everything happening downstairs. My husband trying to make breakfast. My kids moving around. That subtle shift from calm to chaos that happens in most homes.
And then I heard it.
The unmistakable sound of the dog’s water bowl spilling.
My son started crying.
My daughter yelling, “uh oh, uh oh, uh oh…”
And I tried to get up. Because of course I did. But the second I stood up, the room started spinning and I felt like I was going to throw up. So I had to lay back down. And do nothing.
The Cognitive Side of Migraines People Don’t See
Later, I made it downstairs to eat something. My husband was talking to me.
And I couldn’t respond.
Not because I didn’t want to. Not because I wasn’t listening.
But because I literally couldn’t form a thought.
It’s hard to explain if you haven’t experienced it – but migraines can affect your ability to process, think, and communicate. And that part? That’s almost never talked about.
“Did You Take Advil?” (And Other Unhelpful Comments)
If you’ve ever had migraines, you’ve probably heard:
“Did you take Advil?”
“Did you drink water?”
“Maybe you’re just dehydrated.”
And while those suggestions might be well-intentioned, they can feel incredibly dismissive. Because migraines aren’t a simple problem with a simple fix.
They’re neurological.
They affect your entire system.
And often, by the time someone is in bed with a migraine, they’ve already tried everything.
The Guilt That Comes With Invisible Pain
But if I’m being honest, the hardest part isn’t always the pain. It’s the guilt.
The guilt of staying in bed.
The guilt of not helping.
The guilt of feeling like it’s not a “valid enough” reason to stop everything.
Because migraines aren’t visible. There’s no cast. No obvious sign that something is wrong. So it’s easy to internalize the message that you should just push through. Even when your body is very clearly telling you that you can’t.
You Don’t Have to Earn Your Rest
If you experience migraines – or any kind of invisible struggle – this is something I want you to hear:
You don’t have to earn your rest by making your pain visible.
You don’t have to prove how bad it is. You don’t have to justify why you need to stop. Your body already decided that for you. And listening to it isn’t weakness. It’s actually what allows you to recover.
A Gentle Reframe
Instead of asking: “Is this bad enough to rest?”
Try asking: “What does my body need right now?”
Because the goal isn’t to push through at all costs. The goal is to respond to yourself with the same understanding you’d offer someone else.
Let’s Talk About It
If you get migraines, you’re not alone in this.
And chances are, there are parts of your experience that people around you don’t fully understand.
What’s something about migraines you wish more people “got”?